I'm Going to College

The Christmas season is upon us here in the North Georgia mountains, and things are pretty quiet. This is the Bible Belt, and the local population is predominantly Christian and very traditional. They take Christmas seriously. It is time for family and friends, good cheer, holiday greetings, carols, crèches with the little baby Jesus and the three wise men, Christmas morning church services, and Santa Claus. Things slow down around here this time of year. As a consequence, there is not much to report.

I’ve been feeling a little restless lately so I decided I needed new activity. I am going back to college. That’s a slight exaggeration but I have signed up to take a college level course at the University of North Georgia (UNG).

UNG recently opened a branch campus here in Fannin County. Campus may be an overstatement. The campus is actually a small office suite with one classroom. The winter semester consists of five freshman level courses and one sophomore level course, and I have signed up for the sophomore level political science course entitled Global Issues.

I majored in political science with an emphasis on international relations in college so I figure a course in global issues is right up my alley. I realize my prior studies may be a little dated (not to mention foggy) since I went to college back at the end of the Viet Nam era when international relations focused on the Cold War and relations between the U.S., Russia and China. Still, I expect that I have paid way more attention to world affairs over the course of my lifetime than your average 19-year-old.

I also suspect I have other advantages over a typical college student. I actually learned to read and write in an era before twitter and instant text messaging. I spent most of my life in a career that required critical analysis, the capacity to think logically and marshal arguments and the ability to communicate effectively. Most importantly, I believe I have reached the point in life where I know my ass from a hole in the ground. I thought I did when I was college-aged (as did we all) but now know I was sadly mistaken.

My biggest concern is that the professor will be a frappuccino-sipping, Birkenstock-wearing, liberal commie pinko intent on promoting a progressive new world order who believes in gun control, the United Nations, open borders and Al Gore and who opposes the idea of American exceptionalism, nation-states and carpet bombing. And if that son-of-a-bitch bad mouths the American military, we’re going to get it on. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I intend to be open-minded and non-judgmental when I take the course.

The class starts the second week of January. I’m looking forward to showing up in my newly purchased University of North Georgia t-shirt (Go Nighthawks!) and getting educated. I’ll let you know how it goes.

This is my last post before Christmas. I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas.

“Christmas in Dixie” by Alabama

By now in New York City, there's snow on the ground

And out in California, the sunshine's falling down.

And, maybe down in Memphis, Graceland's all in lights

And in Atlanta, Georgia, there's peace on earth tonight.

Christmas in Dixie, it's snowin' in the pines.

Merry Christmas from Dixie, to everyone tonight.

It's windy in Chicago, the kids are out of school.

There's magic in Motown, the city's on the move.

In Jackson, Mississippi, to Charlotte, Caroline

And all across the nation, it's the peaceful Christmas time.

Christmas in Dixie, it's snowin' in the pines

Merry Christmas from Dixie, to everyone tonight

And from Fort Payne, Alabama

God bless y'all, we love ya.

Happy New Year, good night,

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas tonight

To which I would add:

And from Mineral Bluff, Georgia 

God bless y'all, we love ya.

Happy New Year, good night,

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas tonight.