Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Mineral Bluff

My cabin is a couple of miles from the town of Mineral Bluff in the Mineral Bluff zip code. There’s not much to Mineral Bluff. It is unincorporated and has no government. According to one source, 150 people live there.

The town has one intersection where the two lanes of the Lakewood Highway (Route 60) meet the two lanes of the Route 60 spur which goes to Murphy, North Carolina. Mineral Bluff cannot lay claim to being a proverbial one stoplight town because the intersection is controlled by four-way stop signs.

A ramshackle wooden building sits at one corner of the intersection, and there is always an old man in overalls sitting out in front with stacks of firewood for sale. This strikes me as a hard sell in a county that is 70 percent National Forest.

I could not find any significant or even insignificant history associated with Mineral Bluff. At one time it was a stop on the railroad line that runs through town, but the railroad is no more. The small railroad station has been restored and is now a designated historical site on the National Register. While I appreciate the preservation of history, but I have no clue why anyone would visit the station since nothing of any historical note took place there. I’d be pissed if my father dragged me there on vacation and said, “Look. Remember this. Absolutely nothing happened here.”

4,333 people lived within the Mineral Bluff zip code area in 2010. About 36 percent of those over 25 years of age had a high school education, 6.5 percent had a college degree, and 7 percent had a graduate or professional degree. And I was worried that I was over-qualified for the job of greeter when the new Walmart in Blue Ridge is completed.

Over one-third of the people in the zip code area identified their ancestry as Irish, English, Scottish or Scotch-Irish in the 2010 census. Another 18 percent said their ancestry was American, and they did not mean Native American. I do not think it is a coincidence that’s about the same percentage of people who never finished ninth grade. No one confessed to being of Greek, Lithuanian, Norwegian, Portuguese, Ukrainian, Arab, or sub-Saharan African ancestry. No offense, but I don’t think I would have confessed to some of those even if I was being water-boarded. Too bad about the absence of Greeks; I guess I’m out of luck in finding a gyro shop in the area.

According to one website, Mineral Bluff ranks 57th on the list of the top 101 cities having the largest percentage of men working in building and grounds cleaning and maintenance. I have no comment on that statistic. I’m not sure one is necessary.

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I saw this on a Fannin County chat board. Someone was commenting on a construction project by the City of Blue Ridge.
Q.  Noticed the contractors are from out of town. When attempting to talk to one of the workers, quickly realized he didn't speak english. Wondering why local contractors didn't get the work
A.  It's Turkey season.
At least they have their priorities right.

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In addition to the two showers in the cabin, we have an outdoor shower. There is nothing more refreshing on a hot day than taking a shower outdoors. That is until your wife tells you there’s a spider eating a scorpion in the shower. It’s very difficult to wash your face with one eye open.

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Haiku to a Wasp

                                                            Disturbed, the wasp flies
                                                            and bites me on my ankle.
                                                            You motherfucker.

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We are only a few days from moving to Fannin County permanently. Once we move, the next post on this blog may be a delayed since we do not have internet yet. It looks like we are going to have to get our internet and email via satellite. That’s great. Now the NSA will know exactly where we are.

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