There was little in my background to prepare me for life in a county in North Georgia with a population of 24,000 where the largest city boasts about 1,300 residents. I grew up as an Army brat moving from place to place every two or three years and thus had no exposure to small town life. Following college and law school I lived and worked in Pinellas County, Florida, which ranks 54 on the list of the 100 most densely populated counties in the United States. Hillsborough County, across Tampa Bay from Pinellas County, is number 30 on the list. Aside from the difference in population, it is fair to say that the climate and geography of Florida’s Gulf Coast is vastly different than the climate and geography of the Southern Appalachians.
I have lived in Fannin County for a little over two years now. In that time I have experienced and written about many of the differences I have encountered.
Over the past couple of weeks I have been trying to put my finger on the one big difference between where I used to live and where I live now, and I have concluded that it’s not the weather, the roads, the terrain, the wildlife, the distance to the nearest movie theater or the lack of Greek, Thai or Cuban restaurants. Rather, the big difference—the one that has taken the most to get used to—is the size of the community.
Well over 4 million people live in the Tampa Bay area. Over 900,000 of them live in Pinellas County. There are 25 cities and towns in Pinellas County ranging in size from St. Petersburg with a population of over 250,000 to Belleair Shore with just over 100 inhabitants. By contrast, the population of all of Fannin County is only slightly larger than the population of Tarpon Springs, Florida, the sixth largest city in Pinellas County. The population of Blue Ridge, Fannin County’s largest city, is smaller than 24 of Pinellas County’s 25 cities and towns.
In my opinion, it is the small size of the Fannin County community that accounts for the fundamental difference between living here and living in Pinellas County. I suspect it is the universal difference between life in urban and suburban America and life in small town America.
In Pinellas County, except for a small circle of friends, everyone was a stranger. If you didn’t seek out your friends your chances of accidentally bumping into them as you went about your daily activities was minimal. In Fannin County the odds of running into someone you know on a daily basis are pretty good. After all, there are only five primary shopping destinations in Fannin County: Walmart, Home Depot, and three grocery stores.
One ramification of living in a place where there is a good chance of meeting someone you know every time you venture out is that you feel some compulsion to be on good behavior all the time. In Pinellas County you can safely pick your nose or scratch your butt walking across a parking lot with the reasonable assurance that no one you know will see you doing it. Here, you need to be discrete about such things.
In Pinellas County you can make a quick run to the store looking like a slob knowing that there was little likelihood you will meet someone you know. Here, you feel compelled to make sure you look halfway decent or, at the very least, not ridiculous when you go out. I have said this before: you do not see weirdly dressed people in a country Walmart. That is an urban phenomenon.
The last example is tempered by two facts. First, looking decent in Fannin County is not that tough—bib overalls and work boots will do just fine. If your jeans are dirty you can always say that you were working in the garden or cutting fire wood. Second, unless you are one of the few people who actually live in town, there is no such thing as a quick run to the store. We live about ten miles from Blue Ridge and have to travel over hill and dale to get there.
Make an ass out of yourself in a public place in Fannin County, there is a fair possibility that the entire county is going to know about it in a few days. Make an ass out of yourself in Pinellas County and you fit right in—everyone thinks you’re just another tourist from up north.
Another thing that’s different about living in a small community is that strangers tend to show up again. If you’re rude to a stranger in Pinellas County you’re probably never going to encounter that person again. If you’re rude to someone you don’t know in Fannin County there is a fair chance that you will run into that person again and, just possibly, that person could be a clerk at the motor vehicle department or a sheriff’s deputy or someone else whose cooperation you need. The saying is that what goes around comes around. In Fannin County it has a tendency to come around quicker and more often.
The other thing that’s different about living in small community is that the degrees of separation are fewer. They say that every person in the world is separated from every other person in the world by only six degrees of separation. In Fannin County that number is probably three. Everyone seems to be related to or at least know everyone else. It’s a tight knit community and that means that word gets around. You need to remember that.
So, what does all of this mean? It means that it’s pretty hard to feel like an anonymous, isolated, unconnected speck of humanity in a small community because you are constantly reminded of your connection with others. It means that when you live in a small community (unless you really don’t give a damn) you feel some pressure to conform to the mores and folkways of the community. It means that you need to be sociable to at least some minimal degree if you are to have any hope of fitting in. If you’re a crabby ass son-of-a-bitch who constantly treats people like crap you probably should not move to small town America.
Living in a small community is not for everyone. Some may find it too close and confining. Others may prefer the anonymity and diversity of an urban environment. I’ll be honest—it took me a little while to adapt and shed some of the attitude that I brought with me. The good news is that if I can do it anyone can.
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