You know you’re living in the country…
- When the only movie theater in town is a drive-in.
- When you can look at your potato plants and can identify three bugs by name.
- When you can name five different animals that you saw as road kill on your way to the grocery store this morning.
- When you can tell the difference between cow manure that’s been aged two years and cow manure that’s been aged three years.
- When you keep the poison ivy spray on the bedside table.
- When the back of the toilet has a stack of farm equipment supply catalogs and old American Rifleman magazines.
- When most of your clothing was purchased from Walmart.
- When you buy your morning cup of gourmet coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts because the nearest Starbucks is 40 miles away.
- When you asked to help build a float for the Fourth of July parade down Main Street.
- When the local Kentucky Fried Chicken has a buffet dinner on Friday and Saturday nights.
- When the sports coverage in the local paper includes the recreation department’s ten and under girls’ softball league.
- When a man riding a horse down Main Street is not an unusual sight.
- When there is a feed store in the heart of downtown.
- When the Chairman of the County Commission and the Speaker of the Georgia House of Representatives attend the grand opening of the local Walmart.
- When you find yourself stopping at the local farmer’s coop every now and then just to see what’s new on the shelves.
- When you start watching tractor pull competitions on RFD TV.
- When you have a dress baseball cap that you only wear on important occasions.
- When you have a dress pair of blue jeans that you only wear on important occasions.
- When you keep a clean set of bib overalls to wear to town.
- When you own three different types of hoes.
- When you start wishing your tractor had more cup holders.
- When your tan starts at your wrists because you’re always wearing work gloves.
- When the bed of your pickup truck always has bits of straw and cow manure in it.
- When the first thing you do in the morning is check your garden.
- When you donate your old American Rifleman magazines to the local homeless shelter and no one thinks twice about it.
- When seven out of ten men in your church group routinely carry a handgun in their cars.
- When your after dinner entertainment consists of sitting on the porch listening to a classic rock station, drinking a beer, and waiting for the fireflies.
- When the only sounds you can hear in the morning are bird calls.
- When the nearest stoplight is ten miles away.
- When you start to shop for a more comfortable tractor seat.
- When you see tourists from Atlanta and wonder why they are dressed so funny.
- When you start wearing work suspenders rather than belts.
- When you start thinking about buying a nice pair of cowboy boots to wear as dress shoes.
- When you have to think about how to tie a tie.
- When your handkerchief is a red bandanna.
- When you think that a three-point tractor hitch is one of the greatest inventions ever made.
By these standards, I’m living in the country!
Loved the list. Cannot begin to tell you how envious I am at the corn picture. Or the tomato picture. Our tomatoes are on their last legs. Just nothing finer than being able to eat fresh corn and fresh tomatoes at the same time. With fresh beans, either green or purple. Add a side of freshly-dug potatoes. Man, that is heaven.
ReplyDeleteAlso liked the cow pic. Cows are the main reason I like getting a job assignment up in Pasco County. There's cows up there!
So glad you two are enjoying yourselves! It most definitely is a lot of hard work, but at the end of the day very gratifying. I rather miss having sore muscles and being caked with dirt. And driving a tractor with a 3-point hitch.
You should see the corn now. It's shoulder high. We have been eating kale and Swiss chard for a couple of weeks. Never thought that fresh potatoes would be so different than store bought ones. Tonight Meredith made stuffed peppers with Anaheim chili peppers from the garden. The tomatoes should be ripe in a few days. Not bad for the first year's garden!
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