Monday, January 25, 2016

First Winter Storm

Some of you will be glad to hear that we survived the first winter storm here in the mountains of Southern Appalachia. Compared to the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic States the weather we received was minor. In fact, compared to just about the entire world the weather we received was minor. You might say it was a non-event. There was a dusting of snow, almost no ice to speak of, a night of gusty winds, and temperatures in the teens.

Regardless of the actual weather, the mere threat of the storm was enough to get everyone in the north half of Georgia excited and disrupt almost all activity for two days over the weekend. A lot of folks around here reacted to news of the storm like the next great ice age was coming. For others the alleged storm was more of a benefit than an inconvenience—it gave them an excuse to avoid going to church on Sunday.

It appears that I’m going to have to get used to the fact that word of an impending snow and ice storm is enough to cause a major hullaballoo in these parts. I suppose that’s understandable given the infrequency of winter storms and the nature of the roads in this area. Still, I can’t help feeling that folks around tend to overreact and hyperventilate when a winter storm is threatened.

If this storm is any example, part of the reason for the excitement is the way news organizations and state and local governments reacted to the storm when it was still days away. They treated it like the End of Days was coming.

As the storm approached the TV screens were filled with images of government emergency management staffs bustling into action at emergency operation centers. On second thought, bustling may be too active a verb. The television broadcasts mostly showed a bunch of government employees sitting in swivel chairs and staring expectantly at monitors like they were waiting for a major catastrophe to erupt in the next few seconds. It reminded me of the early days at Mission Control at Cape Canaveral. I strongly suspect that the EOC staffs assumed those poses only when the TV cameras were on them and that the rest of the time they were standing around shooting the shit and waiting for something to happen.

Just the fact that that emergency management staffs felt the need to gather in anticipation of the storm suggested that a genuine emergency was in the offing. (Look, Thelma, the emergency management people must think it’s going to be a bad one; maybe they know something we don’t.) It would probably help to calm the public’s nerves if they called the centers something like minor inconvenience processing centers.

The local weathercasters, the national weather channels and the National Weather Service contributed to the general sense of anxiety by advising us over and over that we were under a winter storm warning and painting the area under threat in lurid colors on their weather screens. The weather maps with their defined frontal boundaries and arrows showing the direction of the storm reminded me of a military map depicting the route of Sherman’s march on Atlanta which is not a good memory in these parts.

Of course, the local TV stations seized upon the opportunity to break from their normal broadcasts for “extended storm coverage” from their “weather action centers” to give their weathercasters the chance to repeat endlessly the same forecasts and to remind us every few minutes to watch out for possible (and the operative word is possible) hazardous driving conditions. The minute there was a little bit of snow in some high mountain town, television crews were dispatched in their “storm chaser” vehicles to photograph the scene. Maybe they were trying to remind the rest of us what snow looked like so we would recognize if it happened to come our way.

Of course the inevitable 100 year old tree fell on the inevitable house narrowly missing the inevitable sleeping family so that TV crews could broadcast the inevitable interview so that the inevitable words “It was a miracle” could be uttered.

It didn’t help the public’s apprehension over the storm when notices started going out over radio and TV and through emails and texts telling us that every school, college and government office in a 200 mile radius was being closed. It was like watching a stampede. All it took was one government office or school to decide to close and every other one started jumping in on the action.

The Weather Channel’s irritating practice of naming winter storms only heightened the public’s sense of foreboding. I’ve bitched about this before. It’s bad enough knowing that a winter storm is bearing down on you but to give it a name—particularly a name like Jonas—makes it sound even more threatening. Jonas sounds so biblical and apocalyptic. It’s no wonder people got alarmed and acted like Armageddon was upon us. If The Weather Channel is going to continue this obnoxious habit of naming winter storms then it should be compelled to give them names that don’t get people so riled up. I’m sure people would react more calmly and rationally if they gave winter storms names like Mr. Magoo, Elmer Fudd or SpongeBob SquarePants.

Not wishing to miss out on the excitement, the Governor and the Mayor of Atlanta used the occasion to call news conferences to assure the public that all resources had been mobilized to deal with the storm. In both press conferences the Governor and Mayor were flanked by all the top officials whose job it was to actually deal with the impending emergency. That got me to thinking that if it was a real emergency wouldn’t it be better if those officials were at their posts doing something rather than standing around like stooges?

As I said, the storm itself proved to be non-event. When Monday came people emerged from where they had hunkered down to ride out the storm and went about their business like nothing had happened. That’s probably because it’s true. Oh well, winter’s not over. Maybe we will get a real storm before spring. I’ll just consider the last few days as a test run
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