Have A Blessed Day

There was a riot at the Walmart in Fannin County last week, but I missed it because I was out of town. It made the national news so you may have heard about it. Like Will Rogers, all I know about the affair is what I have read in the newspapers, but I can assure you that all three Fannin County weekly newspapers covered the story with in depth reporting, multiple photos and big headlines. This was a major news story for sleepy Fannin County.

Here’s the story: Since the new Walmart opened eight months ago, an elderly greeter by the name of James Phillips has stood at the door and routinely greeted shoppers with “Welcome to Walmart. Have a blessed day” and bid them goodbye by saying, “Thanks for shopping at Walmart. Have a blessed day.” Then one customer out of the thousands who shop there complained to the store about being wished a blessed day. Store management referred the complaint up the corporate chain, and an edict came down that Phillips had to stop greeting customers that way or lose his job.

When word about this spread, the proverbial shit hit the fan. Walmart received hundreds of calls from within and without the community in support of Phillips' right to wish customers a blessed day. There was a massive demonstration in front of the store by placard carrying supporters of Phillips. Massive, in this case, is a relative term. At one time, according to the papers, as many as 100 people gathered in front of Walmart in support of Phillips. By Fannin County standards this qualifies as a near riot.

By all accounts it was a most polite and well-mannered demonstration. All the protesters were well-dressed and orderly. No obscenities were shouted. Their signs were spelled correctly and properly punctuated. They made sure not to block the store entrance so people could enter to shop. I've seen more disorder and excitement at a church picnic. This was a protest that Gandhi and Mr. Rogers would have been proud of.

Unlike Ferguson, Missouri, none of the protesters wore masks though several sported knitted caps to keep their heads warm. It is, after all, winter in these parts. A few of the protesters wore hoodies but only to ward off the chill. Also unlike Ferguson, the protesters did not leave ruin and devastation in their wake. In fact, I'm pretty sure they picked up loose trash and left the area cleaner than when the protest started. People are like that around here.

Faced with this protest Walmart quickly capitulated, and Phillips is now free to wish customers a blessed day as they enter and depart.

Based on what I can gather from the newspapers, Phillips is a humble and quiet spoken guy. He describes his job as a Walmart greeter as “the best job I ever had,” and he is grateful for, and perhaps a little bewildered by, the community’s expression of support. He may be the most unlikely and inoffensive agitator in the history of agitation. He’s certainly no Sam Adams or Susan B. Anthony.

The outpouring of support and the possibility of further quiet riots caused Walmart to change its position so quickly that Phillips' supporters did not have time to pick up, much less wear, the t-shirts that they had printed that say, “We support have a blessed day―James Phillips.” They're now on sale as mementos to commemorate the great Blue Ridge protest and demonstration. As the years go by I imagine people will pull them from the back of their closets to show the grandkids that they once stood proudly for truth, justice and the American way of life. Pretty soon as many people will claim they were at Walmart that day as claim they were at Woodstock.

As for me, I don't really understand why the customer complained in the first place. I'm nominating that person for jerk-off of the year honors. He or she has a good chance of winning even in a year when there is some tough competition from Hollywood celebrities, members of Congress, the White House and Al Sharpton.

We don't know who the complainer is or why he or she was offended by the greeting. The person has not stepped forward to explain. That’s probably a smart decision. If it was someone who lives in this neck of the woods, I don’t think there would be any threats of violence, but I’m pretty sure the person would be shunned like an Amish porn star. My bet is that it was a tourist from Florida or Atlanta who was visiting the area.

It's fair to conclude that the person objected because he or she believed the greeting had a religious connotation, but that’s not necessarily the case. The word “blessed” has several meanings according to the dictionary. Some of them are religious, but others are not. One definition is "blissfully happy or contented.” Why would anyone but Scrooge, the Grinch, or a butthead be offended by being wished a blissfully happy and contented day?

There are definitions of “blessed” that have a religious connotation. They are (a) “consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified” or (b) “worthy of adoration, reverence, or worship” or (c) “divinely or supremely favored; fortunate.” I seriously doubt that Phillips has studied the multiple nuanced meanings of the word so I also doubt he was wishing that Walmart customers have a consecrated day or a day worthy of reverence. I expect that by greeting customers that way Phillips was just being a nice guy and hoping that they had a good day in the most sincere way he knew. Again, why would anyone but an overly politically correct douche bag be offended by that?

But even if Phillips meant it in a fully religious way, as in “have a holy and sanctified day,” why would anyone―even the most militant atheist―object? Look, like most people, I hate anyone who tries to preach to me without my permission, but Phillips wasn’t preaching. He wasn’t trying to convert anyone. He wasn’t telling people that their beliefs or non-beliefs were wrong. He was just conveying the maximum benediction possible according to his beliefs. (Don’t freak out over the word “benediction.” Its primary definition is “utterance of good wishes.”)

The way I see it, if a stone worshipping heathen said to me, “May the great god Bobo bring you fortune,” I’d accept it as a heartfelt expression of care and concern and not as a threat to my beliefs. Plus, given my misspent youth, I figure I need all the help I can get.

Sometimes I feel like the entire world should take a Xanax and just chill out.